I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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