repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
