So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
