I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just cropdusted the office
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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