ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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