She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
