In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
