someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
