It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
