Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
