Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
