So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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