I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
