why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
