I seem to have left my pride at pride
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
