I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
