You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
