i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
