My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
