she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
