i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
