He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
