too bad you live with your parents still
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
