I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
