she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
