My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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