Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
