Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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