That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
