So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
