i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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