so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
