It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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