just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize