I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
