i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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