so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
