You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's shark week go big or go home
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
