They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
