24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
