Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
