A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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