david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
