Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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