So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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