there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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