we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
