You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Text me some of your sweat
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
