It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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