Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
