I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
