You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
