I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
tell me about the fingering
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